The Fallible Caregiver Series: Advocating Within the Medical EstablishmentMy wife has cried more tears over something even more than stage 4 cancer or the cancer treatments: dealing with the frustrations and incompetence of the medical establishment. Sounds crazy... By Joel Hughes4 min readBookmark for laterReactions 0 reactions Comments1 comments
The Fallible Caregiver Series: How to Start a Cancer Support GroupWhen my wife, Rebekah, was re-diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer 8 years ago, we were shattered and lost. She was only 26 years old. Few people understand a cancer... By Joel Hughes4 min readBookmark for laterReactions 0 reactions Comments0 comments
The Fallible Caregiver Series: Asking Her Meaningful QuestionsMy wife, Rebekah (35), lives with stage 4 breast cancer. My duties as her caregiver have increased over the last 8 years of marriage, especially after a brain surgery last... By Joel Hughes3 min readBookmark for laterReactions 0 reactions Comments1 comments
The Fallible Caregiver Series: Learning to Delegate for HerLast February, my wife had brain surgery to remove 2 small tumors. There were unexpected outcomes resulting in her needing my care part of the time to now most of... By Joel Hughes3 min readBookmark for laterReactions 0 reactions Comments0 comments
The Fallible Caregiver Series: Facing Reality With HerAbout 4 years ago, I felt like God spoke to me. No, not an audible voice or a vision. Nothing like that. It felt like more of an impression and... By Joel Hughes4 min readBookmark for laterReactions 0 reactions Comments1 comments
The Fallible Caregiver Series: Marriage Counseling and MBCSome months back, I wrote several articles that started with a dire feeling but ended with a glimmer of hope. I talked about the struggles and challenges stage 4 breast... By Joel Hughes4 min readBookmark for laterReactions 0 reactions Comments1 comments
The Fallible Caregiver Series: Don’t Let Cancer Steal Your RomanceEight months into our marriage, cancer stole from us the ability to have sex (i.e., intercourse). As the special intimacy of intercourse disappeared from our marriage, other romantic practices and... By Joel Hughes4 min readBookmark for laterReactions 0 reactions Comments1 comments
The Fallible Caregiver Series: When Family Hurts More Than Cancer"I’m fuming right now. I’m so mad I just want to cuss up a storm. I’m going to lose my freakin mind." Those were my wife’s words yesterday. She was... By Joel Hughes4 min readBookmark for laterReactions 0 reactions Comments1 comments
The Fallible Caregiver Series: My Plan to Redeem Intimate LoveIn my marriage now, I see 3 options. I see myself standing before 3 roads that fork off into very different futures. Thankfully, I’ve been trained well, and certain truths... By Joel Hughes4 min readBookmark for laterReactions 0 reactions Comments0 comments
The Fallible Caregiver Series: Why We Need Lazy Days of GluttonyI tend to burn the candle at both ends and often in the middle. My wife and I started seeing a marriage counselor a couple months back to help us... By Joel Hughes3 min readBookmark for laterReactions 0 reactions Comments0 comments
The Fallible Caregiver Series: Helping Her Build a LegacyI heard the results of a survey 25 years ago and it’s haunted me ever since. The survey results were said as part of a sermon I heard on a... By Joel Hughes3 min readBookmark for laterReactions 0 reactions Comments1 comments
The Fallible Caregiver Series: You’re In the Ring TooI like to think of myself as a manly man. When we moved to Oregon last year, I applied for jobs at a couple of companies. I didn’t get the... By Joel Hughes5 min readBookmark for laterReactions 0 reactions Comments0 comments
The Fallible Caregiver Series: Seeking Outside HelpI had a mental image yesterday of how I feel in life. I pictured a piece of twine rope frayed at both ends. I wasn’t even thinking about anything, in... By Joel Hughes8 min readBookmark for laterReactions 0 reactions Comments0 comments
The Fallible Caregiver Series: Helping Her Stay ConnectedI think one of the most dominant feelings for those in Cancerland is feeling alone. At least it is for us. There are different types of “aloneness,” but here, I’m... By Joel Hughes6 min readBookmark for laterReactions 0 reactions Comments0 comments
The Fallible Caregiver Series: When Anger Knocks, Part 2Yesterday, I felt pissed off a few times at my dear wife. She was too slow getting ready to get out of the house. She was on her phone too... By Joel Hughes7 min readBookmark for laterReactions 0 reactions Comments0 comments
The Fallible Caregiver Series: When Anger Knocks, Part 1I felt it the other day. I feel it more than I wish. It often stirs right below the surface of my moving demeanor. Frustration. Okay, let’s not sugarcoat it... By Joel Hughes6 min readBookmark for laterReactions 0 reactions Comments0 comments
The Fallible Caregiver Series: Helping Her Feel NormalI know what abnormal feels like. I know how awful it feels to think that everyone around you sees you as messed up, broken, weak, and abnormal. Whether or not... By Joel Hughes7 min readBookmark for laterReactions 0 reactions Comments1 comments
The Fallible Caregiver Series: Sick of Feeling Afraid (Part 3)I woke up this morning feeling fear. That’s pretty typical for me. I’m worried about taxes coming up, about the credit card bill we haven’t paid for almost three months... By Joel Hughes3 min readBookmark for laterReactions 0 reactions Comments0 comments
The Fallible Caregiver Series: Sick of Feeling Afraid (Part 2)In my last article, I shared some of my deep, daily fears as a caregiver husband to a wife living with stage 4 breast cancer. I ended it by saying... By Joel Hughes4 min readBookmark for laterReactions 0 reactions Comments0 comments
The Fallible Caregiver Series: Sick of Feeling Afraid (Part 1)Growing up, I lived with little to no fear. I was the happy-go-lucky kid, well-loved, and well-taken care of. I did not really feel intense throat gripping fear until I... By Joel Hughes4 min readBookmark for laterReactions 0 reactions Comments0 comments