From a Lump to Stage 4 in 11 Months

When I first felt the lump in my breast, I thought it was just a clogged milk duct and hoped it would go away! Well, I was so very wrong! I lived 20 miles out of the closest town and had no car or help to get into town without hitchhiking in the rain and snow, and that is not an option for a 54-year-old woman these days!

A lump I hoped would go away

As my lump got bigger, and then I felt that second lump, I started to truly get scared. Then my lymph nodes under my arm started to show and doubled in size overnight! At that moment, I knew that I had breast cancer.

Going to the ER

I went to the ER and talked to the doctor, and he asked me why I hadn’t had it checked out before this. I let him know what my situation was, and he told me that I needed to get some scans, and soon!

So I went to the doctor the next day. They got me an appointment for the mammogram and ultrasound, but it was 3 months out. I was really worried about how long it was, so I put myself on the cancellation list. It didn’t change much, but I was grateful when the day came, because the waiting was horrible!

I had my scans, and when the doctor came in and told me I needed a biopsy on both my breast and lymph nodes, I asked him if he thought it was cancer. He said yes!

Deciding to accept it

So I gathered myself after crying and getting my appointment for my biopsy. I went to a friend’s house and had a major breakdown, and I decided in that moment that this is what it is and I have to accept it. I started to look into treatment options on the internet, and then I went to sleep that night!

Biopsy results

The biopsy day came, and I went through it. They said it was going to take 3–7 days before I got the results, but I got them within 2 days on my chart. I was completely devastated, but I knew in my heart that I am not going to let this take me out and away from my family and friends!

The scans and doctors’ visits and all the mental issues, and telling my family that I have stage 3A breast cancer and that I have to get a liver biopsy, was the most terrifying thing I have ever done! Wondering and worrying about how I was going to tell my kids and my mother haunted me with nightmares, and I didn’t know how to deal with it!

But I did exactly what I was expected to do. I lost my mind for a few days, and then I decided that it was time! So I did exactly that. I told them, and it was the hardest moment of my life, especially when it came to my kids. Not knowing if I was saying goodbye or what, it sure felt like a horrible dream come true!

Stage 4

I got the liver biopsy, and then they told me that I was stage 4. Of course, I lost my mind once again, and then I decided that I am not going out like this. I don’t feel like this is my end!

I am currently on chemotherapy without a port and on my third set of infusions. During the first ones, I had full hot flushing through my whole body and was given steroids, Benadryl, and something for nausea. Then they started the second infusion, and right away I got more hot flushing. They got 85% of the first and 25% of the second, and stopped.

The second time through the infusion, they got 100% of the first, and then I started getting the side effects, and they stopped. Now I have my infusions given slower, and with the pre-medicine, I was able to get both infusions 100% with some side effects, but they were not so bad!

Where I am now

So this is where I am in my breast cancer treatment. I am not having many side effects, but I am worried about it. When is it going to happen? I am losing my hair, and I don’t know how to deal with this! But I am just taking it as it comes.

I sure could use some support and suggestions on what to do and how others dealt with this. I have a great team of doctors on my side and would appreciate some kind of help from people like myself who are going through this. Thank you for letting me tell you my story!