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How do you manage with mental/emotional health?

My oldest son was talking about all if the places he wants to visit & maybe live.

**I felt upset (& he could tell), I guess because I thought he wouldn’t be there for me when the time came for me to die, or maybe I was just jealous…I really don’t know.**

I asked when he was going to do that & he said when his youngest graduates high school (in 6 years).

Without thinking, I said, “well, I won’t be here by then anyway.” Such a snarky thoughtless comment.
I still need to apologize.
But I also need to understand where such a nasty comment came from.
I’ve never not supported my sons in whatever they’ve done. They are both wonderful, caring people.

Does anyone have any insight?

  1. Good evening , Thank you for sharing with us! Please let me start by saying you are not alone in how you are feeling. I am sorry you are dealing with this. I think there are many of us in the community that struggle with similar situations. I think these feelings are valid and sometimes these feelings can sit in the back of our minds as fear and bubble up to the surface as fear.


    I don't have children but I can tell you I would worry if my brother were to toss the idea around about moving away or traveling far with my niece & I wouldn't be able to easily go see them it would strike the same feelings in me and it might be come out in a similar way. I would feel like I am being left behind or missing out.

    I think it can be normal to feel stressed, jealous and a little angry sometimes with this diagnosis. It sounds like you care very deeply about yours sons and it's hard not to think about the timeline but maybe just let them know how you are feeling. I hope they can understand how hard this is on you and your feelings come from a place of love.

    I am sure other community members will chime in with additional insight.


    Please let us know how you are feeling and getting on.


    Chat soon,
    Mallory (Team Member)

    1. I've been dealing with depression since I finished treatment. I feel horrible. No energy. No appetite. No ambition to do anything. How do I get through this?

      1. Hi there, and thank you so much for reaching out. I just want to say, this is a safe place, and I’m glad you feel safe enough to post here.
        Depression after finishing treatment is completely normal. I am not a medical professional, however, I was surprised to learn about cancer treatment and the effects it can have on the brain and its transmitters when I made an appointment to get on antidepressants.
        When I did learn about that, I felt defeated. My oncologist never told me that after treatment, I would get wildly depressed.


        My recommendation would be to reach out to your care team, and see what they think. I strongly feel that an open relationship with your care team is the foundation of your overall health going forward. It never hurts to reach out and let them know!


        I hope that you can find something here that resonates with you, and please, don’t hesitate to reach out and check in with us!
        Sending you so much love and warmth,
        -Stephanie (team member of AdvancedBreastCancer.net)

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