My Recurrence: Please Don't Judge
Yes, it is true for me ~ I believe that God has a plan for my life. My story of recurrence might appear to be “causal” or “careless”. Every story has a lesson to convey and I hope my story helps someone diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer.
So, what happened during those 18 years?
Living life to the fullest
I lived my life to the fullest. At that time, I had a very busy job running a Spirituality Center. It was a very special career for me almost a vocation to welcome people for retreat who needed a respite from their busy and overwhelming lives. During those years and after my first diagnosis in November 2000, I began facilitating a cancer support group. The group was based on a model I created that had components of sharing thoughts and spirituality with women and men who had various types of cancer. The many people I met monthly educated me in many ways. The group took on the name “The Circle of Light”. Each person had a story to tell. Each had a lesson to teach me something.
This might sound crazy but after sitting with many of these individuals, I opted to skip my annual mammogram and regular doctor visits. I wasn’t frightened by the stories rather they educated me and helped me see the direction of my life. These stories showed me that there is a plan for your life. During these years, I had a few colds and was feeling great. Life was very busy. Additionally, my Mom and Dad needed a lot of my attention, so I put my health on hold. I think, in my mind, I did not want anything to interrupt the flow of my life like another cancer diagnosis.
The choice not to immerse myself into medical exams and tests was all mine. I accept my current situation and embrace my life with positivity. Believe it or not, these days I am one of the happiest people you will ever meet. Each day of my life is filled with moments of gratitude for so many people in my life - a husband who loves me, two adult daughters along with their husbands who support me, and not to forget - two beautiful granddaughters who give me a reason to live. Pure joy!
Gratitude and acceptance
I could blame myself for the present, but I find myself not living in the past or letting “fear” be my tour guide. Rather I choose gratitude and acceptance. I believe releasing negative energy from one’s past can free the mind and body to make room for self-love and acceptance.
Time is very precious to me. I can’t waste time wondering “what if”? For me, God has a plan. I don’t think he is done with me. Off to celebrate another day.
Editor’s Note: We are extremely saddened to say that on November 5, 2019, Linda passed away. Linda’s advocacy efforts and writing continue to reach many. She will be deeply missed.
Have you gained new friends in your metastatic cancer journey?