It's Okay To Accept Help from Others
Last updated: July 2023
When you are first diagnosed with a terminal disease, it is strange how people come out of the woodwork. Friends you had forgotten about, the family you never talk to, and even strangers. You are bombarded with gifts, meals, money, transportation, and more.
Month's pass, and everyone goes back to their lives, and the offers of help become less and less. However, you still need help, and you still want help.
So how do you ask for it without feeling guilty for asking? Well, it is easy. You ask for it. Call that friend, coworker, family member and ask.
Feeling like a burden
Easier said than done, I know, but trust me, they want to help. Most people feel like they are being a burden to you by constantly asking what they can do to help. Plus, let's face it, we hardly ever accept the help. We feel guilty for asking and accepting.
I often remember needing a ride somewhere and not wanting to ask, so I would drive myself, even though I felt sick. My husband would get frustrated with me for not asking for help. I just felt guilty asking for help because people have their own lives and are busy.
Asking for help
Then there came a time when I HAD to ask for help. So I did, and guess what? They were happy to do it and even said they wanted to help more.
Are you feeling sick? Ask a friend to make a meal. Is your house a mess, and you can not clean? Call a family member and ask them to come over and help you. You can even make a list of all the things you need and post it to social media. I guarantee lots of people will jump on the opportunity to help.
Another idea is to offer something in exchange or as a thank you for helping. Something that you can offer. For me, I love to knit and will knit little scrubbies that I can give with a bar of soap as a thank you gift for help. Maybe offer to make some banana bread as a thank you gift.
We must remember that it is hard for others to find the right words to say to a cancer patient. They are always afraid to say the wrong thing. They look at you and think you do not need help because you may not "look" sick.
So do not be afraid to pick up the phone, write a letter, send a message through social media, or do whatever it takes to get the help you need and deserve.
How are you asking for help? What kind of support would be most helpful for you?
Advanced breast cancer is an isolating and lonely disease.