A woman holds up a happy mask while her real face shows her anxiety over all of the things in her life

The Reality Is

Last updated: April 2022

I know how you feel, how can I support you? You've had a long and challenging week filled with lab tests, chemotherapy, and excessive doctor's appointments.

You've been feeling run down and exhausted from running all around, but you still have the responsibilities of being a mother, wife, and caretaker of your elderly parent.

The work never seems to end, and although you take pride in being responsible and accountable, you secretly are nearing exhaustion and depletion.

On the surface, your life may look put together and successful, but inwardly you are struggling. You can't help but feel like a fraud because society tells us that being a good person means having it all together at all times; being happy, energetic, and without struggle.

This is simply not reality.

Always being a good person

The truth is that being what society calls "a good person" is hard work. It's often messy, tiring, and requires great sacrifice. It's living our lives with purpose and intentionality even when we don't feel like it. It's choosing to do the right thing even when it's difficult. It's about continuously putting others before ourselves, despite how exhausted or depleted we may feel.

This is utter nonsense. Life is not about throwing yourself on swords daily.

If you've ever flown, you know that the flight attendant tells you to put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others. The reason is that if you're not taking care of yourself, you can't take care of anyone else.

The same principle applies when it comes to being a good person. We must first take care of ourselves in order to be able to effectively help and serve others.

Trying your best

So, the next time you feel like a fraud because society tells you that you should have it all together, remember this: Being a good person is hard work, but it's worth it. It's living our lives with purpose and intentionality even when we don't feel like it. It's choosing to do the right thing even when it's difficult.

Also, being a good person doesn't mean that you always have to put others before you. There has to be a healthy balance. More importantly, continuously putting others before ourselves despite how exhausted or depleted we may feel isn't a great example of self-care.

Finding a healthy balance to take care of yourself and others

In the long run, if we continue to put others before ourselves all the time we more than likely will experience burnout and resentment. So I can't stress enough how important a healthy balance is.

So, be proud of yourself for being a good person, whatever that looks like for you. Never allow someone to define what being a good person looks like for you.

It's not an easy task, but it's one that is worth undertaking. Be good to yourself always so that you can be good to others.

How do you take care of yourself?

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