Living with Metastatic Breast Cancer: Balancing Single Motherhood and Caretaking

Danielle, a single mother living with triple-negative metastatic breast cancer, shares her perspective on caring for her children while navigating ongoing medical treatment.

Danielle

How do you maintain a sense of normalcy for your children?

I usually don’t talk about cancer all that much once my treatment for the week is complete. My kids know I go to the hospital and that I am tired afterward, but other than that, we do the things any normal family does.

The day before chemo, we always do something super fun—like river tubing. That way, I feel absolved of guilt when the day or two that follows is reduced to watching movies and taking short neighborhood walks until my energy returns. We’ve simply learned to adapt to our new normal.

How do you give them the childhood they deserve?

Living with cancer has definitely made me a more easygoing mom. I don’t fight my children on things other parents might; I focus on keeping our home as harmonious as possible. My primary goal is to build the best possible memories together. My kids understand my limitations and pitch in on tough days, so I make sure to show my appreciation—treating them to donuts or fun outings to thank them for their patience and understanding.

Cancer affects the entire family, and people sometimes forget that in the daily struggle. We’ve learned to go with the flow. Our house is full of happiness, and my children are smart, sweet, and kind—and that makes it a win.

Where do you find your strength?

We all possess a strong survival instinct, though we don't always realize it until we have to tap into it. Reaching deep within yourself to navigate every single day is challenging, but over time, it becomes routine—it becomes a part of your life. Once I stopped resisting my reality and accepted it, life became much easier. I will never stop advocating for stage 4 breast cancer awareness or fighting for a cure, but I have also learned to accept the life I have.

It may not be the exact path I planned, but it is full of love, family, a career, and incredible friends. Finding gratitude in everyday moments gives me strength. Waking up able to walk, eat, breathe, love, and feel the sun on my face—enjoying the simplicity of life—is something I am deeply grateful for. That gratitude gives me the drive to keep fighting for as many of those days as possible.

Editor’s Note: We are extremely saddened to share that on Friday, October 29, 2021, Danielle Thurston passed away. We know that Danielle’s voice and perspective continue to reach so many. She will be deeply missed.