My Pursuit of a Full-Flat Life

By Steph Millett

2 min read

Almost 8 years ago, I had a modified radical left-side mastectomy. For nearly a decade, I have been a real-life unicorn. For a long time, I had pockets sewn into my bras, and I wore a prosthetic breast. My "cutlet," as I lovingly referred to it, went with me everywhere. It traveled across the country with me, went on flights, saw live music, and evened out my appearance.

The truth about prosthetic breasts

Not many folks talk about this, but prosthetic breasts are heavy. They are uncomfortable. Mine, in particular, would rub my skin raw, and since my skin was numb from having surgery in most of that area, I wouldn't notice until I peeled everything off after a long day of faking having 2 breasts.

Unable to get implants

At the time of my surgery, I wanted to get implants. It was the easiest option for me; it was less invasive and something I felt like I could live with over time. My breast cancer treatment plan consisted of some pretty heavy-duty radiation after I healed up from this mastectomy, so my options for reconstruction were slim. Radiation would damage my skin too much and would cause it to lose its elasticity.

Living the "unicorn life" after mastectomy

So, the "unicorn life" was one I lived. During the pandemic, I threw my cutlet out and have been presenting myself "as-is," so to speak. Since 2020, I have considered the "full flat" look. I have yearned for symmetry in a way that I never thought I would.

Changes that resulted from a modified radical mastectomy

In 2021, I had a rod placed in my arm. The cancer came back in full force, and it caused me not to be able to have a complete shoulder replacement. I'm left without a rotator cuff, putting quite a bit of pressure on my right side, where I have the remaining breast. The weight of the breast has caused my port scar to travel south, and it pulls down on my collarbone.

Seeking a palliative mastectomy

Going "full flat" would relieve so much pressure on my right side and help clothing to fit me, making my life so much more vibrant. I could live out my remaining years in a body that works for me and is comfortable.

This is equal parts for comfort and looks here. Sure, a mastectomy is a pretty big decision, but the way this would change my life for the absolute better is more than I can dream. What I have been searching for for all these years is a palliative mastectomy. I finally found it. A palliative mastectomy is mainly a way to prevent or reduce the severity of breast or chest symptoms and pain.¹

Looking forward to more comfort

It will involve some scheduling on my part to work in when I can break off my cancer treatment for a while to heal up properly. So far, however, it doesn't seem like a majorly invasive surgery, and I won't have to spend a night in the hospital, which is always my biggest fear.

I still can't believe I've made it this far, though. I can share that shortly, I will finally have the symmetry and comfort I have been longing for and deserve.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The AdvancedBreastCancer.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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cicely24 Member
Hi Steph - i'm guessing there a lots of us unicorns - mine's a 40G, my moniker is Lonely Mountain and the silicone prosthesis is heavy and rubbery. I often just use the initial foam one though am then lopsided. In summer it causes some friction and winter its so chilly because the best bra i have come across in 3 years (Glamorise Plus Size MagicLift Posture Back Bra 1265 Item No: FE359FR Colour: Blue Size: 40F) only has a quarter pocket but many colours and very very supportive - front fastening. I was happy to go flat on basis I would have a matching mastectomy on other side which had already had an IDC in it one year previous. Covid meant i wasn't allowed to have it off at same time as the left sided 10cm ILC and almost 3 years later i'm still waiting for that right sided mastectomy. I too have shoulder issues on both sides - one from radiation, other from the lumpectomy, mastectomy & total axillary clearance. Steroid injections worked on one shoulder not the other. 
1. Steph Millett Moderator & Contributor
 Hello there, <inline-mention username="cicely24" user-id="6216670"/>! I appreciate you sharing your story with me. Being a unicorn comes with its own challenges, and none of them are easy. I can absolutely relate to having a favorite bra! It was the only one that was comfortable on my shoulders, and held in my heavy prosthetic. I never had a foam one, although I did want to try one of the 3D printed ones- they looked so lightweight and nice! My heart is with you, friend. I hope you can push forward with your surgery, and get some relief on those shoulders. Oh also! I don’t know if you live near a Nordstrom, but they will sew pockets into any bra and they should do it for free. I used to work inside a mall so I would drop my bras off to get pockets and they would be ready in a few days. I hope that is helpful! 🫶
JoJo25 Member
Hi Steph, I was concerned about symmetry as well. I wore a prosthesis for about 9 months and found it heavy, cumbersome and hot. Who needs hot when you have hot flashes often due to chemo. After my radiation when my skin healed, it was a bit rubbery, but I wanted symmetry so I made arrangements to have a mastectomy on the left side. I thought it was a good idea as this breast had cancer in situ and a lumpectomy was performed at the same time as my mastectomy on the right side, At this point, I have to admit that I didn't trust the girls (as I called them) anymore and truly wanted a divorce from both of my breasts. I had the left mastectomy done, an oopherectomy (precautionary) and had tramflap reconstruction. Three surgeons worked on me at the same time! After 5 days I was released from the hospital, only to have a huge hematoma on the right side due to an issue with the blood supply on that side. I passed out due to lack of blood to my brain, was rushed by ambulance and had to have yet another surgery to repair the last one. The two mastectomies were done differently, the right side was a modified radical mastectomy, but they had used a skin saving technique on the lft side and had only removed the breast tissue and left the skin. Due to the diffent approach they took, my left breast would increase in size and behaved more as a regular breast. My right side never changed. My breasts were adjusted 3 times over the years and the left is again much larger than the right. So much for symmetry!! Fourteen years later my cancer has metastasized to my bones. I gave up on the symmetry and am happy to still be here, I've learned to love my body the way it is. I wish I had just stayed a unicorn.
1. Steph Millett Moderator & Contributor
 Hello <inline-mention username="JoJo25" user-id="4718274"/>! Thank you for taking the time to share your story here, as well friend. I feel like in some cases, and a lot of times in our lives, the grass is always greener. Even in a cancer free life we do it with our hairstyles, jobs, and houses. I think there’s bravery that comes with finding out what kind of grass is on the other side, and you’ve got that! It takes so much strength to reach out for answers and pursue something just for you. I am so sorry that the symmetry is still elusive, and the cancer in your bones. I also had an oophectamy! Wild you had so many folks working on you at the same time. That must have been some operating room! Sending you some love today, and I hope you have a good weekend 💛