Today I Struggle

Today I struggle. I struggle with faith, living, dying, clergymen, bishops, pastors, evangelists, gospel artists, patience, letting go, holding on.

Impact of life with metastatic breast cancer

I struggle because I don’t have all of the answers to questions bold enough to form in my head, yet they remain apprehensive about passing through the lump in my throat as words, the membranes of my eyes as tears, or the breaking of my heart as wails.

Today I struggle because what should have been never was, and what was never should have been.

Today I struggle with the highways of "God can but will he?" I struggle with the haunting twins named letting go and holding on.

Today I struggle with suppressed memories and memories that flood my soul. I struggle with forgiveness and unforgivable. I struggle with joy and pain, happiness, and gut-wrenching sorrow.

Today I struggle with insomnia and nightmares that feel like real-time reality. I struggle with lies being told and truths that are hidden.

Today I struggle with a clean heart and a shattered one. I struggle with people loving you one minute and ignoring you the next. I struggle with people having platforms without pathways that will lead you to peace instead of pain.

Today I struggle...do you?

Share with a community that understands. Comment below and tell us your biggest struggle or challenge with metastatic breast cancer.