A person holding an empty coffee pot in one hand and a phone with RSVP in the other

Handling Social Situations When You Do Not Feel Well

Imagine you wake up in the morning and know it will be a stay-in-bed kind of day. Your head hurts, your bones hurt, face it, everything hurts. After forcing yourself out of bed to wash your face, brush your teeth and make that ever-so-important pot of coffee, you walk to the kitchen and glance at the calendar on the wall.

That is when you realize you have a birthday get-together for a good friend to attend later in the afternoon. You think, that is the last thing I want to do today, but it is your best friend's birthday, and you don't want to disappoint her.

I know we can all relate to not wanting to attend a social event that you already agreed to weeks or even months ago. Maybe you were having a good day and feeling okay when you agreed to attend, but as we know, things can change daily, even minute to minute. We can feel good in the morning; by afternoon, we just want to veg out on the couch.

Deciding to attend

So what do you do in these situations? Do you just go and force yourself to try and have a good time? Do you not go and just use the cancer excuse, which isn't an excuse; it's life. I am sure a best friend would understand, but we know they will still be upset. Let's say you decide to go; how do you handle the situation?

The first thing you need to do is decide how long you want to stay at the event. Make a plan of sorts. I will stay until after dinner, or after presents. Then call the host and make sure they know that you are not feeling good and will be attending but will have to leave early. One thing you should not do is get a ride with another partygoer because you do not want to get stuck, and you do not want them to have to leave early.

Deciding not to attend

Suppose you decide you just can not go to the gathering. It's just not a good day. First and foremost, you need to call the host and tell them you are not feeling good and will not be attending the gathering. You can tell them you will make it up to them by taking them to lunch or dinner when you feel better.

Make sure to apologize for missing the gathering. If they are good friends or family members, they should understand and be supportive. If they give an attitude, then maybe it's time to rethink the relationship.

Remember you come first

Remember that you are battling a terminal disease and have every right to miss an event or leave an event early. Those that love you will understand and should be supportive no matter what. Do not feel guilty because you are doing nothing wrong, and YOU come first. Take care of your needs above all others.

Have you ever had to deal with a situation like this? How did you handle it?

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The AdvancedBreastCancer.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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