Cancer Scanxiety: My Personal Story

I have been a breast cancer patient for almost 10 years now. I was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, which is the most advanced stage. As someone who has gone through multiple surgeries and chemotherapy treatments, I can tell you that one of the hardest things to deal with is scanxiety. This is the feeling of stress or worry in the period before a medical test, during the test, and while waiting for test results.

I've had to battle with scanxiety, and I've had to find ways to manage it and overcome it because the tests don't stop.

Getting ready for my scan

I was lying in the hospital bed, trying to relax before my scan. I was so anxious. I hated those things. The last time I had one, the results didn't work out in my favor.

I heard a knock on the door, and the nurse came in. She smiled at me and said it was time for my scan. My heart started racing and I felt sick to my stomach. I followed her down the hall to the scanning room, and she helped me onto the table.

Something went wrong with the machine

The technician came in and explained what he would be doing. He put on some gloves and asked me to hold still while he injected a dye into my veins. Then he left the room, and I was alone with my thoughts.

I tried to focus on breathing slowly and evenly but it was hard with all of the machines beeping around me. Suddenly, there was a loud popping noise and then silence as the machine stopped working. The technician rushed back in and said that he needed to restart it. Apparently something had gone wrong with the machine!

The test was finally done

After what felt like forever, the scanner finally started up again, and I closed my eyes tightly as it began moving over my body. When it was done, I got up off of the table feeling relieved but also scared about what might show up on the results.

The nurse told me that the results would be ready in a few days and I would be able to see my doctor then. In the meantime, she said I should try to relax and not worry too much. Easier said than done!

An allergic reaction

As I was getting dressed it felt like I was going to pass out. The room started spinning. I broke out in a cold, clammy sweat. My throat felt like it was closing. The nurse came back in, took my vitals and called 9-1-1.

It was then that I realized that they hadn't read my chart closely enough, and I was having an allergic reaction to the dye they had injected in my veins. I was so worried about the scan that I totally forgot about the dye.

Worried about the results

I spent the next few days worrying about what the results might say. Would the cancer travel somewhere else? God knows it has very few places left to go. I will have to wait.

Scanxiety is something that all cancer patients deal with, and it's not easy. But in cancer land, we can hope for the best and condition ourselves for the worse.