A Letter to My Meds
It’s time we had a talk. We first met 3 years ago, I was pretty new to breast cancer, and you were pretty new to the market, all in all, I could say you came out in just the right time.
When we started this relationship, we established some rules, I agreed to take you faithfully and you agreed to try your best to block my cancer from growing. I believed that you could be a hero in my story, and aside from a few hiccups, you were. We were a great team, and made great progress together, warding off the thing that brought us together to start with and ultimately keeping me alive for longer than would have been possible if we would have never met.
I think sometimes we expect our heroes to be infallible; you weren’t. You became the source of tears from time to time, but overall I think you were pretty badass.
For two years, nausea, fatigue, and the occasional tears were worth the dance we would do for 21 days every month, for three months.It's a break, not a breakupJust over a year ago, we broke up. It wasn’t you, it was me; well maybe it was a little bit you, but mostly me. When the thing that brought us together started getting stronger, our matchmaker decided I needed to meet someone else. They thought I needed something more aggressive and direct; unfortunately, when that relationship ended, it left me scarred with side effects I’m still dealing with today. For a little over a year, our matchmaker thought it was best we take a break, but last week the thing that originally brought us together was found to have started to wreck all the progress we made together before. So, our matchmaker decided that maybe we should try to meet again.Mediating our dealSo here I am - just a girl, standing in front of a bottle of meds, asking you to save me. I promise I’ll take you faithfully, but I need you to promise to try to wreak havoc on the thing that brought us together again. Please, please do your best and try, I can only do so much on my own, I need you to do your part. I know, realistically, we probably won’t be together forever, but I’ll stick with you as long as you promise to fight for me.So now as I sit here, looking at you thinking of how our future could be; I pray that you’ll be good to me and help keep the bad away as long as you can. I’m trusting you and putting my faith in you. You’ve done it before and you can do it again; a stable relationship is all I ask. Anything beyond is amazing, and if our matchmaker decides our time has ended, I’ll remember the good times you gave me, knowing without you, those probably wouldn’t have been possible.Save meHere I go - open, drop into my hand, take the pill, drink the water. I’ve done my part, it’s time for you to do yours.Sincerely,The one whose life you’re savingPS. Just so you know, death do us part isn’t an option.
How old were you when you were diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer?