Grace Under Extreme Fire
Where compassion abides grace does much more abide. Recently I have had to have grace under EXTREME fire.
My aunt is 83 years young, and to her thinking - at 83 years old - you shouldn’t be mobile, and people should take care of you. Even if there is nothing physically wrong with you, which is the case for my aunt. The doctor says the only thing that is wrong with her is that she has arthritis.
Looking at things from her perspective
So, as I’m visiting her, all of a sudden she can’t walk, she can’t spray hand sanitizer in her hands, she can’t use the restroom on her own, and she doesn’t know how to use Google.
I’ve tried to look at her situation through the eyes of grace; however, to be perfectly honest, it hasn’t been easy. I know that she’s pretending because she wants me and my husband to move to the Bay Area and be in one large house like the Waltons. The Waltons is an American drama television series about a family of nine in rural Virginia during the Great Depression and World War II. Hate to say never, but that more than likely will never happen.
I have stage 4 breast cancer
So, as I’m looking at my aunt and trying to be as supportive as I can, I’m having to refocus and view her through the lens of grace. I’m having to take a lot of deep breaths, and I’m having to have really hard conversations, mostly about how I really feel like crap on a daily basis.
So I sit down and I tell my aunt the truth that she has forgotten. I am terminally ill. I have stage 4 breast cancer, lupus, and sarcoidosis. I can’t be your caretaker. I have my own caretaker, and I don’t know what I would do without him.
She says that she understands, and then turns around and acts as if she doesn’t. So I’ve had to take deep breaths, mix love with grace, and invest in self-care.
Engaging in self-care
When we don’t engage in self-care we suffer. I find myself trying to push boundaries while feeling my body breaking down more and more. Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s a necessity. While investing in self-care we should always be mindful of our loved ones and our caregivers.
Find yourself being as graceful as possible even if you are under fire.
How are you practicing self-care?
Have you gained new friends in your metastatic cancer journey?