Letters to My Health-challenged Self

The past two years have been especially rough on a lot of people. We’ve had to dig deep to find a source of comfort to get us through the day.

Finding encouragement

We’ve had to find that bit of encouragement from within because rarely could we receive it from our inner circle since they were depleted as well.

With mounting health issues, one after another, I found myself yearning for answers and inner peace. Yes, l always turn to Jesus; however, I had to do my part as well. Faith without work is dead.

Therefore, I prayed and asked what I could do to encourage myself. The answer came to me in a dream: Write it in letters to yourself. The sound of that resonated with me. I’ve often heard people ask the question, what would you tell your younger self? I wanted to ask a deeper question, which brought me to this question series.

What would you tell your health-challenged self?

A letter to myself

Dear Max,

I have seen over the years how you have struggled with various health challenges. Your mere existence was a struggle. Weighing in at only one and a half pounds, you came here with a health disadvantage. Now, as you struggle with a terminal illness, I have something to tell you.

Here we go: "Hey girl, hey. I know that for the last decade your health life as you know it has been extremely challenging, and the past few months have been earth-shattering both physically and mentally.

I know that you feel as if the level of mental hopscotch you have to engage in just to make it through the day is something that you’re not able to participate in - that it’s more than you can bear at times---but you have to keep going. I know that you’re overwhelmed and you feel as if you don't have the mental bandwidth to deal with anything else that’s emotionally exhausting. But you have to keep going. You’ve come too far to give up now.

I know that the mere mention of a doctor's appointment makes your skin crawl because it seems as if every time you go these days there’s always something new wrong. I know, I know, it hurts; it’s frustrating; it’s overwhelming, but trust me, you’re better off than most.

I know that saying that isn’t a consolation prize, and it probably pissed you off or made you feel some kinda way. That’s not my intention at all. What I’m trying to say is you’ve lost a lot of people these past few years and many didn’t have a third as many health challenges as you do.

I know that it sounds like I’m digging a bigger hole here, but what I’m trying to say is: Take a deep breath, cry if you must, but get up and do what you can. Don’t overdo it, but do a little every day.

You get to breathe another day, and every day that you do, try to do something that leads you towards your purpose in life, your destiny if you will. There are a lot of people who complain every day about how life sucks. And yes, life can suck sometimes, but you have the ability to make it less sucky. 

I know you feel like crap every day. I know that you’re in pain thirty hours a day, but those breaks in the day when you have a reprieve from the pain and the lack of energy, do something creative. Do something that brings you joy.

You’ve got this girl, just breathe.

I Love You, I’m with you through the good, the bad, the ugly, and the sad. We’ve got this, let’s go."

Have you ever written a letter to yourself?