Finding Humor When Coping with Breast Cancer

While living with breast cancer is no joke—particularly advanced breast cancer—many in the patient community find that humor helps them navigate diagnoses and treatments.

Why laughter can be good medicine

“If you don’t laugh, you’re going to cry your eyes out,” said the late Beth Caldwell, a 38-year-old metastatic breast cancer patient blogger from Seattle. “It just makes things less awful.”¹

As someone living with the disease long-term, Beth shared how humor preserved her quality of life:¹

• “To never laugh again would be horrific.”
• “The jokes make me feel better.”
• “I get to decide how I’m going to cope, and I tell jokes.”
• “The nicest thing people can do for me is just be awesome, come have fun, and make me happy.”

However, humor is deeply personal. Dr. Bonnie McGregor, a clinical psychologist and Founder of the Orion Center for Integrative Medicine, notes: “Not everybody finds it helpful. It can be hurtful if the timing or the situation isn’t right. You have to be careful with it.”¹

Despite the need for sensitivity, studies back up the fact that laughter can be a powerful tool. Research shows that people feel lighter, more relaxed, and physically better following therapeutic laughter.²

How we use humor to cope with advanced disease

Humor is often central to many people's experiences. I asked my fellow bloggers in a breastcancer.org forum, "do you think this is a thing for you? And does anyone have any examples of how humor has helped them at any stage, even where humor has been used inappropriately?"

The responses were often both ironic and funny in themselves.

Finding relief in dark humor

MoochiPie wrote, "I have always been drawn to dark/black humor and gallows humor. It's a wonderful coping mechanism. I kept my family and friends up-to-date with cheery emails: Post-surgery, I have experienced an otherwise indescribable sense of relief knowing that Lil' Milk Dud was kicked to the curb." I had gone to her to start the process for a medical marijuana card. She evidently thought I had booked a "Reefer Madness Lecture".

Choosing joy and happiness

Ceanna noted, “Personally, I try to look for "joy. Maybe that's a combination of happiness and laughter! And I try to use a sense of humor to see joy.”

Using jokes to reclaim control

Regarding humor, SF-Cakes wrote, I joke about myself with others, things like, "ooh, I probably shouldn't eat that, I might get cancer, and then laugh like a hyena while I consume, say, a Nutella brioche. Seriously, am I going to juice celery and beets when I may have a short amount of time left to enjoy food?"

For Sadiesservant "humor as a coping mechanism is a thing, I suspect more than one person thinks I'm crazy with my openness and tendency to crack jokes. In reality, there is a certain ludicrous element to everything we go through. I have always felt that I could laugh or cry and since crying won't do any bloody good, it’s laughter."

A man’s perspective on breast cancer humor

Being a man with breast cancer, I have to say that opportunities for humor came my way regularly. Removing a pink gown for a mammogram, I said to the technician, "is this possible?" She laughed and replied, "let’s give it a go!"

Turning tragedy into comedy over time

Comedian Tig Notaro shared her breast cancer diagnosis with her comedy club audience at Largo in Los Angeles just hours after receiving the news. "It's weird because with humor, the equation is tragedy plus time equals comedy," she said. At that moment, she admitted she was, “just at tragedy right now." Notaro was bold enough to look forward to the day when her experiences could be humorous. That is obviously a state many patients are happy to achieve.¹

Does humor help you navigate your journey?

What is your experience? Have you found that humor has helped you, or have you experienced a time when humor felt inappropriate or misplaced?